So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
