Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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