I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
