I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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