Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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