I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
