Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
