that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
