She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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