OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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