You're so nebulous sometimes
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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