just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need a beard to bite.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
