I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We need to get me chipped asap
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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