don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
