So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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