BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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