Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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