I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
