Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
