chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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