I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
