She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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