a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
honey bunches of taint.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
