fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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