Dual....:-)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Alive.
So much puke
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize