I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it's like iHOP with fire
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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