You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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