I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i now understand why vodka
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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