My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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