hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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