Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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