as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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