I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
