I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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