"it" just moved
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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