craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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