I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize