You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
