I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have post one night stand depression
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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