ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
