And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
