sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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