hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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