It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
