It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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