I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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