I think i peed on brittanys purse
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
