Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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