I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
