It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
