i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm really busy with my period
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