weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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