She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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