PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pants are for mortals
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
