why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
