What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
