I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
