How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
