WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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