Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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