Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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